|About the Book|
Undoubtedly my least favourite of Nagira Yuus novels. Its her second published novel, and in her afterword she acknowledges it might be difficult to like for some people. Apart from the fact that I found it creepy and disturbing, there were also several plot holes and inconsistencies that made it impossible for me to enjoy it. The second star is mostly because it made me think about the narrative choices in BL, and because the art was really nice.The novel is told entirely from the semes POV. Hinaga is a very solitary young man - the only two things that have ever mattered in his life are his violin and Seta, a classmate from high school. To say that Hinaga has no idea how to normally express his feelings - in high school, he ended up stalking Seta, ultimately leading to Hinaga moving to another prefecture, and now, four years later, when Seta for some reason comes looking for him, he does something even worse: when Seta, surprised by Hinaga, falls down a flight of stairs and loses his memory, Hinaga pretends he doesnt know where he is, steals Setas ID and credit cards and offers him to stay with him while he recovers. That alone qualifies him for being the worst in my book, but it gets even worse when after a while he rapes a drunk Seta. And afterwards manipulates him into coming back with him. And for some reasons, when, in the end Setas memory makes a miraculous return, Seta has no problem forgiving Hinaga and being in a relationship with him.In a way, I can see how in this novel she tries out things she ends up using in later novels. As twisted as Hinagas thoughts are, its not uninteresting to follow them. Theyre convincing - but theyre the thoughts of a manipulative abuser and there is nothing romantic about them. If it all had wrapped up differently, I actually might have end up liking it. For example, it could have been interesting if Seta had been only pretending to lose his memory. This is a case where I definitely would have preferred an unhappy ending. And then there are the bits with Hinagas grandfather which just arent developed enough. I can see where she was trying to go with it (and with Seta and the staff of the restaurant he works at, and with Hinagas coworkers), but it didnt come together as much as it did in her later novels.The worst was the rape scene though. It made me realize how much I am willing to forgive the seme if I see him through the eyes of the uke, which also is disturbing in its own way. Seme POVs for the entire novel are pretty rare, and considering you usual semes behaviour I should probably count myself lucky.As for the plotholes, the biggest one is when Hinaga suddenly storms out of the hospital WITH SETAS BAG to remove his ID and stuff from it and when he returns and they look in the bag and dont find anything nobody finds this suspicious at all.Ill be honest, if this wasnt by Nagira Yuu I wouldnt have finished it. Im glad none of her later novels Ive read so far arent like this. She has written several characters who did some pretty bad things, but none were as unforgivable as what Hinaga did - and he didnt change at all in the end, unlike some of the others. He also didnt have to pay for what he did. The fact that he suffered from the expectations and disappointment of his father doesnt excuse what he did at all.Mostly Im just glad I read this so late in my pursuit to read all of her work.